Farewell to Cambridge: Harvard Yard

Earlier this week, on our morning walk, Collin and I wandered into Harvard Yard. Collin's first visit to my Alma Mater. It struck me, perhaps for the first time, that this is a part of my life that Collin will never really know about--a distant past for him, irrelevant and most likely uninteresting. He may never know (or care) that I first sat here in 1998, a starry eyed freshman, waiting eagerly to hear Nelson Mandela speak. Or the numerous times I've walked through this yard late at night, after "studying" at Lamont Library. Or that Jason and I spent the morning of our wedding here, taking photos when no one else was around, savoring a few quiet moments for ourselves. Not that I hold Harvard and its culture of drivenness in particularly high esteem (I would be happy if Collin could grow up without the pressure to acheive, the fear of failure, the trap of measuring himself against others). But this physical space, whatever it may mean to others or symbolize to the world, holds many memories for me and a history twelve years in the making. Walking Collin through the Yard today made me realize just how long ago college was for me, and how much a new life can put space between the present and the past.

The feel of the Yard is different to me now, though traces of the past still linger. Ten years ago, walking through this very same place, I was enthralled by the potential opportunities life presented (they seemed endless!), and anxious for what the future would hold; excited about dreaming big dreams, and insecure about whether I'd ever find the right path; loving the freedom and independence of being on my own, and wondering if I would ever find someone to share a life with. Today, life feels a bit more settled, the potential opportunities do not feel so endless, but neither am I as anxious about the future. I think I still have many of the same dreams, but they have deepened and become more tempered. I no longer need to accomplish all of them right now. Some dreams may remain just that--dreams, and that is okay with me. There is a quiet joy that seems to be growing with the years, and I find myself looking back on my time in Cambridge with fond contentment.

We are moving from Cambridge to Somerville in a couple months. As I pass by all my favorite spots in Cambridge these days, I feel compelled to record them, savoring the last moments of living in this town. So here is the first of what hopefully will be a "Farewell to Cambridge" series. Sure, Somerville is only a short drive (or walk) away, but there is something particularly special about Cambridge. It is where I first tasted the independence of living on my own, the pleasure of loving God, the blessing of living in community, the excitement of falling in love, and the joy of starting a family.

It's been a good 12 years.