keeping it slow

For 2013, this is my mantra: Keep it slow. As Jason and I have thought about this year, we feel that this is a Sabbath year for us. Starting in 2006, when we started dating, we've gone through at least one big life transition every year (whether that's engagement, marriage, child #1, buying a home, child #2, new job, etc.)...and for the last six years, life has often felt like a whirlwind - a fun and exciting one, but a whirlwind nonetheless. This year, our 7th year together, it feels like it's time to rest, learn, receive and grow. So that is our prayer and hope for this year. Practically, we are learning to "keep it slow". This has now become somewhat possible for us thanks to the husband's new job. We can have days that we keep free - where we don't have plans, and we can stay in or go out based on what feels right. We are not rushed or stressed about a schedule, we are able to just be. These days may still be exhausting with the two boys, but it is also, in its own way, restful for us as a family - we can focus on each other, let go of schedules, and just be...together. Keeping it slow also means we do not rush through our routines - something that I am trying to improve on. In the morning, we make our beds without being in a rush - we try to have fun with it, sing a song, dance a little (at 7am in the morning? yes, well not all the time, but we try and keep it slow!). We sit down to read the (kids) bible, and are not upset when the 16-month old keeps coming over to close the book. Keep it slow. We make and eat breakfast, without a sense of rushing out the door. You get the idea...of course there are days that don't look calm or slow, but that is what we are working towards. One thing about keeping things slow is that it gives us the mental energy to learn new things... We are hoping to attend some conferences and seminar together - as a way of learning and receiving. We both have found attending conferences to be so life-giving and enriching, and we hope this year allows us to attend some. This January, I have also been collecting a pile of books I am looking forward to reading. In addition to being in the Word daily, I am excited about my list of to-reads this year. I have become somewhat of a non-fiction nerd (and currently thinking a lot about family life, if you can't tell), but here are some of the books that are at the top of my list: Living Out Loud; Last Child in the Woods; The New Strong Willed Child; Offering the Gospel to Children; and The Meaning of Marriage. We'll see what this year brings, as often our best plans and intentions do not always work out...but for now, this is our hope for this year.

intuitive lens

I am half-way through my photography class...and I am loving the technical stuff I'm learning: ISO, shutter speed, aperature, depth of field, focal length, lighting, and so much more! I am learning to use my camera in new ways, and it's been super fun to experiment in manual mode.

As much as I am loving learning about the technical aspects of photography, I gotta say that I am not as inspired by the creative side of it. Especially compared to the painting class I took last year, which really encouraged me to be creative and look at the world differently, I seem much more interested in the technical aspects of photography and seem to have a harder time connecting with the artistic side. Maybe I need to be more comfortable with the technical stuff before being able to use this medium artistically...or maybe it's just not as much of a creative outlet for me. Either way, this class makes me appreciate professional photographers so much more and how their work is truly an expression of art.

this one is for me

Having a one year old and a three year old at home can be challenging. There are moments where it is pure fun, and I feel so grateful to be able to spend time with them. There are also moments of pure stress - usually accompanied by some loud crying, tantruming, and unwillingness to do what I want them to do. Before I had children, I envisioned myself walking around with little ones following after me nicely, who always say their please and thank yous, never tantrum or disagree, who always clean up after themselves, treat others gently, and who are always in a good mood. Yes, that was my picture of family life (ha!). I thought of myself as a patient person, and thought that "being more patient" was only for parents who weren't patient people (ha!). I'm sure God was smiling down at me, shaking his head, and thinking, so silly - you just wait! In one of the parenting books I've been reading, the author talks about how we should not be surprised by our children's sinful behavior - we already know they are born with sin, that they have all sorts of flaws, and they are a big work in progress (and just beginning at that). I think what that book did not say is that those difficult moments also bring out sinful behavior in the parent - an impatient tone, a lack of gentleness or understanding, an unkind word or thought. Sin rubs against sin...and all the while, as I think I'm teaching my children, I'm pretty sure the real work is what God is doing in me. So our chalkboard verse right now is mostly for me. Yes, of course, I wish all these things on my children and pray that God grows these things in them; but first, and foremost, I wish and pray these things on me - because God has a funny way of using my children to remind me that I am still very much his child, in need of His grace and parenting.