this one is for me

Having a one year old and a three year old at home can be challenging. There are moments where it is pure fun, and I feel so grateful to be able to spend time with them. There are also moments of pure stress - usually accompanied by some loud crying, tantruming, and unwillingness to do what I want them to do. Before I had children, I envisioned myself walking around with little ones following after me nicely, who always say their please and thank yous, never tantrum or disagree, who always clean up after themselves, treat others gently, and who are always in a good mood. Yes, that was my picture of family life (ha!). I thought of myself as a patient person, and thought that "being more patient" was only for parents who weren't patient people (ha!). I'm sure God was smiling down at me, shaking his head, and thinking, so silly - you just wait! In one of the parenting books I've been reading, the author talks about how we should not be surprised by our children's sinful behavior - we already know they are born with sin, that they have all sorts of flaws, and they are a big work in progress (and just beginning at that). I think what that book did not say is that those difficult moments also bring out sinful behavior in the parent - an impatient tone, a lack of gentleness or understanding, an unkind word or thought. Sin rubs against sin...and all the while, as I think I'm teaching my children, I'm pretty sure the real work is what God is doing in me. So our chalkboard verse right now is mostly for me. Yes, of course, I wish all these things on my children and pray that God grows these things in them; but first, and foremost, I wish and pray these things on me - because God has a funny way of using my children to remind me that I am still very much his child, in need of His grace and parenting.